“Who are you?” You may ask. “Tell us a little bit about yourself.”
I don't know if I understand the meaning of the term "a little bit", but I'll try.
I have three main elements – running themes – that have informed, shaped, shifted, given birth to the person I am:
Love.
Sex.
Spirituality.
I just started my 60th trip around the sun, and I have chosen to no longer keep those elements obscured or artfully blended. All my life I have learned to carefully balance and portion out these parts of me, based on what seems most appropriate and least likely to offend. I think everyone does that, to some extent - but I'm done with it. I don't care anymore what anyone else thinks: I am the only one living my life, and I want it to be authentic and true.
I am not going to spare any details here, and none of it is to shock or blame or cause drama. I am just going to sift through events and memories, sort them into the most appropriate category, and hopefully make sense of all of it. My goal is to be able to step back and allow what I am to simply shine. If it's too disturbing, if someone who loves me is too upset to even look at it, so be it. If someone can take it all in, hold it, appreciate it - that will be wonderful. If no one ever tries, that’s fine too. I’ve worked hard to balance my inner divine feminine and my divine masculine – I may be loving and tender hearted, but I can hitch up my own trailer and haul it wherever the hell I want and still call it home.
Sorry, I really love metaphor.
The main three elements each have their own sections here:
“Mind”, which is about love and the way I learned it, processed it, played with it, expressed it. (At the moment there isn't a lot there. Been focusing on other stuff.)
“Body”, which is mostly about sexuality – masturbation, body image, fucking, preferences, etc. which is why it also says ‘nsfw’.
“Spirit” is where I look at my spirituality – my sometimes intense, sometimes annoying, and always eye-opening relationship with my current spirit guides, the dark places I've been (and still frequent), and the process of recovering my faith in a higher power – myself.
There are other sections, too:
“Art”, where I post pictures of and thoughts about my own artwork.
“Hedone Speaks – nsfw”, is erotica that is not necessarily based on my own personal experience. Because I like writing erotica, and I always have.
“A Boi Story” (also nsfw) dives into the Great Braiding – where I meet the boi who changed my life. Awakened me. Brought Mind, Body, and Spirit together in the unlikeliest of ways. It is an ongoing and perhaps never-ending story about infidelity, lust, social barriers and mores, soulmates/soul bonds/soul contracts, and the concepts of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. It is also a love story, but I will allow the reader to decide the identities of the lover and the beloved. Sometimes the story is posted, and other times I take it down to rethink it.
Currently the story is told in my paintings, as I am currently working on releasing that attachment with love. It's going... okay. lol.
Lastly, “Musings” is where I put the stuff that doesn’t really fit into any other category.
I’m letting it all out here, so as I often say:
Buckle up, buttercup.
This incredible throne, made by the trees that hold this cliff together, is at Starved Rock State Park in Illinois.
