What’s love got to do with it? Everything. Everything. I’ve opened up now that door to the deepest part of me that beautiful box that my hundreds of lovers have dipped into indulged in tasted Everything is pouring out now is coming forth Are you ready? ----------------- As the years the lovers went by the line between sex and love grew thinner blurred Because what is love if not attention and (hopefully) affection? And what is fucking if not attention and (hopefully) affection? Not to mention the fact that attention and affection often lead to fucking? I will admit despite all the attention and affection I always wanted more The part of me that craved it the toddler, the small child found herself creating her own attention and affection out of desperate need Only to be told over and over that it was a sin Pleasure was a sin Touching myself was a sin I couldn't have Jesus if I kept it up But you have to understand Jesus never made me come I wanted Jesus, I really did When he was in my heart, and I was full of the holy spirit, I felt mostly peaceful. Good. Worthy. I knew he loved me but it was not the kind of love I craved not the kind I needed Jesus spoke a foreign tongue words I couldn’t understand He fed me small discs of rice flour when I wanted chocolate sips of sour red wine when I wanted grapes fed to me one by one What love I did feel was so very conditional Jesus loved me but not if I made myself come not if I made someone else come not if someone else came inside me not if someone held me and stroked my hair and told me I was so great amazing perfect I could have one or the other but not both So I chose I was a slut with the tenderest of hearts I was a whore full of empathy and compassion I was a bad girl pouring out love and kindness hoping someone would notice hoping someone would speak my language understand me see me So, I am here to admit it I am still a slut a submissive a woman who loves kneeling before a man and wanting him to make me make him come A siren luring men and women away from those they supposedly love I am a weeper who cries when someone gives me a mind-blowing orgasm then holds me tenderly I am a giver who wants you to feel absolutely beautiful and desirable I am a voyeur watching I am an exhibitionist watching you watching I am open wet and ready for anything And if that means Jesus will never take the wheel that’s okay because this vehicle is self-driving
Empowering! Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!